Future's So Bright

Here's another typical photo of Lauren and I. Just another night on the town.

This is how we roll.

Jean jacket with collar flipped up? Check.

Oversized pink sunglasses? Check.

No idea what decade it is? Check.

I'm still surprised Lauren lets me out in public.

Actually, this pic was snapped at a New Year's Eve party a couple of years ago at a friend's house. It was a ton of fun but disaster almost struck.

I'm sure this story will be told in the best man speech so I'll spare most of the details. Let's just say that I almost "stomped" a "baby" because I thought it was a "balloon". The quote marks doesn't make it seem so bad, does it?

There's a baby in there somewhere. Probably.

Have a Happy New Year Eve!!!

Wondrous Whiskers

Gotta get my mustache going! Lauren can't resist men with a solid soup strainer. Check out this nonsense:

This model is known as the Galloping Gallatin.

Why does Lauren like mustaches so much?

Oh, that's right - BECAUSE THEY'RE AWESOME!!!

Tae Kwon Do is terrific for keeping in shape, but it's also a deadly serious killing system.

Recap of the Engagement Night

Just wanted to share some photos of from when I proposed to Lauren.

I'm all about celebration consolidation so I proposed to Lauren on my birthday. She never saw it coming!

Do we look like a newly engaged couple?

Glamour Shots was closed the next day so Lauren did an impromptu photo session at a coffee shot table.

Class and sophistication. I'm talking about her finger nails.

What a great weekend!

Seems like it was just yesterday but it was seven months ago. Totally rad.

Not As Big Of Deal As You Think

I could pretty much do a whole series of pictures of Lauren looking at me with a quizzical look on her face, like she's thinking "Oh, that's great Paul. Go back to playing with that ball of yarn."

She literally looks up to me.

You don't really get a good look at it, but I am wearing my lucky Michael Bolton t-shirt.

The man, the myth, the mullet.

Baller.

Twizzle and Shizzle

Here's another great example of what I'm getting myself into in less than two months. This is the best picture I could find of Lauren's parents.

This is about as low as they could go.

And this is just a picture of them waiting in line for the salad bar. Interesting.

I'm sure they could use some lessons from this guy...

Chubby Checker, by the way.

Can't wait until September 18!

Lost and Found

Here's a pic from a wedding Lauren and I went to a couple of years ago in St. Louis. It was for some friends of Lauren's - she actually introduced the bride to the groom. What a matchmaker!

Night putting followed the reception.

We are smiling in the picture but got completely lost on the way to the reception. It was a disaster. But by some totally blind luck we found the Country Club and the party was on from there!

A Pioneer In Every Sense of the Word

A little bit of trivia here, but did you know that I was the first person to ever break out the "Leg Air Guitar"? True story.

It was at one of Lauren's Theta semi-formals that I broke it out. That fateful night, I knew I had to come up with something special on the dance floor. Something so special that Lauren would be forever entranced by my mystical moves and bodacious booty-shaking.

Bear witness.

A little out of tune but effective nonetheless.

This photo is kind of confusing the first time you look at it. There are a few things that you think you see but actually aren't there.

First, there aren't people to the side pointing at me confused with what I am doing with my leg.
Second, there isn't a bro in the background that is getting his hand swatted by his date.
Third, there definitely is not a flask in my pocket.

Just wanted to clear that up. Now, go forth - and leg guitar!

Hey Ya or You

Another classic jam in Lauren's 'sing-a-long' repertoire - OutKast's Hey Ya.

Lauren digs the acoustic version. It's kind of silly to slow a song like Hey Ya down and play it with a guitar but it works. Now shake those Polaroid pictures!

Should Be An Easy Answer

So I guess back in the 60s and 70s, total strangers who knew nothing about each other got married just for the chance to be on game shows. Oh, they also had to be total buffoons.



Pool table upstairs? Karate school? What the heck is going on here?

Just in case we ever do get the opportunity to go on a game show, Lauren and I hold nightly debriefing and study sessions where we go over every detail of each other's lives, from eyelash length to sock color preference. And we skim the dictionary too, in case we get handed a tricky word like "condiment".

Do we look like idiots to you?

It was my first time posing for a picture so give me a break.

OK, Lauren gets a pass but I may get held back.

Pretty OK Toast I Guess

I'm definitely going to showcase some of the garbage that passes as Best Man speeches later on but wanted to get things started with this gem.



Epic much?

Wow.

More Photos

Lauren's wonderful friends threw her a bridal shower this past weekend. Some of the photos from our engagement portrait session were blown up and framed as gifts, which was very nice. If there is one thing that I demand I have in my household, it is pictures of myself!

Check out these pics - do you think we could land a couples modeling contract?!?!

I probably just told a hilarious joke.

Here's another one...

Lauren was about to lose her balance so I had to steady her in this photo.

Lauren's looking great as usual! I'm so lucky!

Too Much Class

When you are given free tickets to the symphony, you should always take them. It's fun to experience live, classical music performed by well-trained professional musicians.

A few years ago, Lauren and I paid a visit to the Kansas City Symphony for a performance of Tchaikovsky's Romeo and Juliet. Lauren was asleep after 10 minutes.

May as well be a glass of warm milk.

It's not like we were listening to the Portsmouth Sinfonia or something. Now that would be entertaining.


The Portsmouth Sinfonia - The Hallelujah Chorus - Funny blooper videos are here

However, Lauren made a full recovery and was able to attend the after party. What a trooper!

Lauren wasn't phased after I told her things didn't work out between Romeo and Juliet.

Lace 'Em Up!

I've seen Army boots with less shoe laces than this monstrosity! Although I will say Lauren should consider this dress as an option.

Finger-less gloves are a nice touch, too.

Did this chick fall down or something? Why is she on the floor? Did she faint?!?!? It doesn't really look like she knows what's going on.

I know/hope Lauren's dress will outclass this piece of work.

A True Wingman

A true wingman will be there for you whenever and wherever you may need him. In this case, fainting at a wedding.



Great form the last groomsman in line! He saved his buddy from cracking his noggin on the floor. I'm sure the fainting bro was back at it later in the night.

Remember, don't lock the knees. The fainting you save may be your own.

Love Songs

This song is more special to Lauren than it is to me. She just can't get enough of Sister Act 2!


I'm digging the Spanish intro to this video!

Maybe Lauren likes this song so much because...she's obsessed with nuns!

Shoeless nuns, no less.

Wolf Pack Updates

Just thought I would give you a Wolf Pack update.

Always on the prowl, or looking at something shiny.

Yes, all members of my Wolf Pack will be present at the wedding.

Yes, some members of the Wolf Pack are wanted in this state for wolf related crimes.

No, we don't care.

Here's a quick sampling of the WP on good behavior. We all just got released from jail for good behavior and were celebrating.

Pack.

Should be a killer time!

Get Some Stronger Glue

There is one thing that keeps me up at night about our wedding - my teeth falling out. Lauren and I both have to remember to make sure our dentures are firmly in place during the big day.

Unforgettable Wedding Day | Viral/Other | SPIKE.com

Watch out bro! She's really a vampire!

So we're going to have to go with one of Lauren's favorite denture sayings - "Better safe than toothless" and go extra heavy on the Poligrip.

Seems easy enough.

Not really related to anything, I just thought this picture was funny.

Don't worry, she's not in the wedding party.

Smashing Pumpkins

Got to be honest here - when I was thinking of a clever way to propose to Lauren, carving a pumpkin wasn't at the top of the list. I guess it could work for some people though.

Very clever, Charlie Brown.

This is clever too.

Too many Tootsie Rolls will do this to you.

But not as good as this...

Just checking to see if anyone actually reads this blog. :)

Ohh La La

So you're going to have to take my word on this but the following picture was taken from inside the Moulin Rouge in Paris. There is some lame policy that photography is not allowed once you're inside, so we had to sneak in this pic.

So, so sneaky.

You weren't required to make a weird face so I really can't explain why I look like that.

Anyway, it was another magical night. Dancers swam with boa constrictors in a giant water tank, bald male twins balanced on each other's heads, and the MC got jiggy with it. Simply amazing.

Here's what this place looks like from the outside.

We were in there, I promise!

Something for the Ladies

A lot of the research that I've conducted around fainting at weddings indicated that it was mostly males that fainted - either the groom or a groomsman. Well, it seems as though this phenomena can affect brides as well. Shocking.



Towards the end, she just sort of succumbed to the faint. Could have been worse.

Help me stop this terrible malady affecting weddings all over the world! Please remind the wedding party to not lock their knees. Thank you.

A Good Walk Ruined

Today is the wedding for a good friend of mine. I was on Kogan's basketball team in the third grade so I think I've known him for 16 years or so. Not too shabby.

The bachelor party was a few weeks ago and part of the day was spent on the golf course. My golf skills are pretty weak at the moment - I'm giving Charles Barkley a run for the money in the "World's Worst Swing" competition.



Watch where you swing, they're kids around!

Best wishes to Kogan and Lauren Lee!

Love Songs

Lauren has many passions in her life but her two main ones have to be snakes and English hard rock bands. So when Whitesnake came around, Lauren thought they were pretty much the best thing ever.

Our favorite Whitesnake song has to be "Here I Go Again". However, Lauren seems to have some trouble with the lyrics.

At 1:27 in the video, she thinks the lyrics are "Like a twister, I was born to walk alone."

Yeah, I don't think so. Why would a twister be born to walk alone? Doesn't make sense, lady.

WHITESNAKE, HERE I GO AGAIN
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Doesn't matter what the lyrics are, we rock out every time!

She's a first place dance machine!

Clueless

Holy schnikes!!! Check out this psycho hose beast.

The bride to be can't understand why it may not be a good idea to have the wedding guests play the game Clue during the reception. Because who wouldn't want to do that?!?!?



She laid out the 16 weapon concept is pretty clear to me. "If they don't want to play, THEY CAN GO HOME!!!"

Lauren is officially the Anti-Bridezilla. Here's proof:

Pretty awesome.

I Have The Power!

With our upcoming nuptials, Lauren and I officially are joining the ranks of the world's elite power couples!

Here are some of the two-somes who will be eating our dust.

See ya, suckers!

Seriously beefy.

Flying unicorn and Speedo included on the wedding registry.

Basically, the rest of the world needs to watch out...

Respect.

Belle of the Ball

A few days late, but I think this wedding dress would be perfect for Lauren!

I guess I could dress up like Uncle Sam.

Wishful thinking, I guess. We should have been married on July 4th!

And Cue Fainting Nephew

All groomsmen must repeat this mantra: do not lock your knees, do not lock your knees.

Otherwise, this will happen to you.



Poor guy never had a chance.

Join me in my fight to prevent fainting at weddings and please remind the groomsmen to not lock their knees. Thank you.

A Night On The Town

I think both of us ran out of clean clothes this day and had to resort to whatever we could find in our closets. Still, we make for a pretty snappy couple!

I made that shirt out of old wallpaper.

Another reason why I love Lauren so much - she'll always stand by my side.

Gold chains galore!

Happy 4th!

Happy Fourth of July to everyone! This is one of Lauren's favorite holidays, right up there with Flag Day and Columbus Day.

KABOOM!

Can't say that I really am a fan of Lauren's firecrackers. I don't even know where she gets her dynamite but she does.

The police haven't stopped her yet.

Speaking of dynamite, isn't this a sweet tattoo? Lauren and I are still discussing whether or not we should get matching Cupid face tattoos - she's really pushing hard on that one.

Pretty much the best tatoo ever.

July 4 Eve

One of the first actions Lauren took to the new house was install a American flag on the front door. I'm so proud to be marrying a true patriot.

I'm still waiting on that pet eagle she promised me.

Did I mention she's also a huge Sargeant Slaughter fan?

What color do you think his eyes are?

Wedding Wisdom

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

- Homer

The Wolf Pack Cometh

Just thinking about the Wolf Pack again...

I'm the sensitive wolf in the upper right hand corner.

Should be a fun time come September 18!